ATHOL – Laughter, muted sobs and love-affirming songs could be heard during the first Pride service at Athol Congregational Church.

Several people, including Rev. Dr. Candi Ashendon, discussed the experiences they’ve had walking the path that led them to come out as gay — apprehension, emotional and sometimes physical pain and humiliation inflicted by others, and the ultimate relief of coming to terms with their “true selves.”

The service, held June 25, marked the church’s first Pride Sunday, which took place during the worldwide celebration of LGBTQ+ Pride Month.

“I know that some you spoke to me or Rev. Cindy (LaJoy) this morning about being a little apprehensive about coming to church this morning, because we live in a culture that is not always that friendly and accepting,” said Ashendon. “But that’s exactly why we’re here today. Although I’m sorry some of you felt uncomfortable, I also want you to know that that’s actually how those who are part of the lesbian and gay community feel most times when they come to church.”

The reverend introduced three speakers whom she described as “three brave souls” who then shared their stories with several dozen people in the congregation. Michael Thomas said he was raised in a different era, where being gay or lesbian wasn’t talked about. He said that once labeled, people would be attacked for being who they were, even being assaulted, as was done to Matthew Shepherd.

On October 6, 1998, Shepherd, a resident of Wyoming, was driven to a remote area near Laramie, where was robbed, pistol-whipped, and left to die while tied to a barbed wire fence.

“If it was talked about, it was met with disdain for ‘those kinds of people,’ ” he said. “It was okay to hate and bully those kinds of people.”

Thomas recalled how people who identified as gay or lesbian could be arrested or fired from their jobs. In the 1980s and 1990s, he said, “We were told that AIDS was a gay cancer sent by God, and we deserved everything we got.”

But, said Thomas, people became more accepting, with diversity and acceptance being taught at home and school. In 2015, Congress enacted the Marriage Equality Act, granting gay and lesbian couples the right to marry. Four years later, he married his husband, Chris. In January 2020, the couple became members of Athol Congregational Church.

“This church has truly embraced diversity,” said Thomas, “embraced me, my husband, and my future family.”

Jenna Sujdak said she was lucky that her family accepted her for who she is, and related the story of a friend she met while attending a nearby church. That friend, she said, eventually came out to her parents, who then contacted the pastor of the church. She said the pastor asked her what would stop her from engaging in incest or bestiality.

“He…told her she wasn’t allowed to watch any of the children in the congregation anymore,” said Sujdak. “She now cannot bring herself to set foot in a church.”

“I believe each one of us is perfectly made by God to be exactly who we are,” Sujdak continued. She told the congregation they were “as perfect as God made you, whether you are gay, straight, trans, cis, or anything in between.”

Elizabeth Soucie discussed her experience as a parent enrolling her children in a homeschool group. She said it was a good experience — until her children decided to seek their gender.

Regarding the pushback her family experienced, she asked, “Why did it matter? What right did they have in shaming my kids? Does God see them? Yes. Does God love them? Yes. We should be allowed to feel what we feel about our own bodies. We should be allowed to love whoever it is that holds our hearts.

“If there is someone in your life that you love, please respect that relationship,” said Soucie. “Don’t throw it away over something that isn’t even relevant to the relationship. We are all in need of a safe space on this amazing planet. Our children need kindness, respect, and understanding.”

Soucie asked for a brief moment of silence to remember “a moment to remember the countless beautiful souls that have died because they came out or felt they needed to stay in."

Ashenden related the difficulties she has experienced as a gay church leader. She said she has left or was made to leave several churches.

“It’s been an ongoing search,” she said, “and I have a few boxes of hate mail that, hopefully, the next generations cannot believe happened; but it did.”

While many people believe the Bible mentions a prohibition against homosexuality, she said, “If you really read that Bible carefully, it does not. There is not a word that Jesus spoke about same sex relationships in the negative. Jesus said that more important than anything else is ‘love for your neighbor as yourself.’ That’s what matters. The Bible says nothing against loving someone who’s gay, but it says everything about loving one another.”

Greg Vine can be reached at gvineadn@gmail.com.

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