Want to break bread without breaking up the family this Thanksgiving? Try leaving politics at the door.

This month’s presidential election was particularly polarizing and the internet is rife with stories of people planning to skip holiday gatherings or being uninvited to get-togethers due to who voted for who. But experts say friends and family members of all political ideologies can enjoy one another’s company by focusing on other topics and being grateful for the positives in their lives. And that’s the sentiment shared by folks across Franklin County interviewed ahead of Turkey Day.

Orange resident Ann Reed, a familiar face at her town’s Selectboard meetings, said she is looking forward to again having Thanksgiving in Grafton, where her daughter lives and is hosting a gathering of friends and family. Passionate about her small-government views, Reed said her daughter is a theater professional and has many liberal friends in the arts world.

“There have always been people who find it very intellectual to argue politics at the dinner table. I have always found it to be uncouth and ungrateful and a Heimlich maneuver waiting to happen,” she said with a laugh. “We’ve just enjoyed the holiday.”

Reed mentioned seeing some younger women online boasting about removing their fathers from their lives for voting for Donald Trump. She said this hurt her on a personal level because her father died in 1973.

“I would give anything to have Thanksgiving with my own father,” she said fighting back tears. “He did not live to walk me down the aisle, meet my children or have me make Thanksgiving dinner for him.”

Her father, Arnold E. Fallon, was a U.S. Marine veteran and pharmacist who she said made Thanksgiving a special occasion for many years.

Reed said those in her family’s social circle have always had more to talk about than politics and simply pass the time with lively conversation and witty exchanges. In fact, she recalled a time there was a Democrat, a Republican, a Libertarian and an Independent in her four-member immediate family “and it was never a problem.”

Athol resident Susannah Whipps said she hosts Thanksgiving for about a dozen family members in the house once owned by her parents, who have died.

“I feel the responsibility of having a homebase still for family members. We’ve got family members along a wide spectrum of political ideologies and have different feelings about the election,” she said, adding that to avoid having awkward breaks in conversation she has asked her guests to brainstorm and share funny or moving stories about her parents and grandparents. “You can put the battles aside.”

Whipps knows a thing or two about seeing all sides of a political debate, as she is the only unenrolled member of the Massachusetts House of Representatives. Originally a Republican, she left party in 2017 because nearly two-thirds of her constituents are unaffiliated with a major political party and she wanted to put people over politics.

A classically trained chef with a degree from Johnson & Wales University, she said the only heated debate allowed at her Thanksgiving table is whether her guests prefer canned cranberry sauce over her homemade chutney. Whipps will be sworn into her sixth term in January.

David Lewis, chair of the Greenfield Republican Town Committee, said he and a friend plan to attend the Thanksgiving meal at Living Waters Assembly of God at 450 Davis St. He said the meal is offered to the entire community and is certain there are guests every year with differing opinions, and politics is never dredged up.

“I think, just don’t even talk about it. It’s over. It’s done with, the election. And we all have to move on to the next thing,” he said.

Lewis mentioned he has lived at the Weldon House apartments in Greenfield for 18 years and he and his neighbors with different political affiliations meet for a coffee hour every Wednesday. He said politics come up commonly but there is never any disdain or resentment.

“We just agree to disagree,” he said. “We don’t throw things or get violent.”

Greenfield resident Sandra Boston said her Thanksgiving guests will be comprised of people who share her progressive values, but she would still prefer politics take a rest.

“First of all, be much more interested in asking what’s going on in their life rather than who they voted for,” she said.

Boston advised that people should tread lightly if they broach the subject of politics and always remember that young children “will pick up on the energy” if the environment becomes inhospitable. She mentioned her oldest son is a Trump supporter living in Virginia and though they seldom see eye-to-eye, their email exchanges remain kind and affectionate.

“We always end it with, ‘I love you,’” she said.

Boston mentioned she belongs to a local chapter of Braver Angels, a citizens’ organization aimed at depolarizing American political culture by fostering conversation between liberals and conservatives. The Greenfield group has met at the Greenfield Public Library once a month since 2017. 

“It’s the only place in my daily life where I sit down with someone of the other political persuasion for an hour and a half and listen. The point of it is to ask questions in order to understand. You know, ‘Tell me more about why you see it that way,’” she said. “We’re not here to change anybody’s minds – we’re here to understand.”

Boston mentioned she is a teacher of communication skills, offering eight-week classes in conscious communication.

“Don’t try to change anybody’s mind. The point of being family and seeking unity is being able to hold the difference. Have respect for the person even if we don’t have respect for the opinion,” she said. “People don’t want to keep talking to you if you try to tell them they’re wrong.”

The Poynter Institute, a global nonprofit, published an article about how to avoid political arguments at Thanksgiving. It can be found at: tinyurl.com/mvna9wbk.

Reach Domenic Poli at: dpoli@recorder.com or 413-930-4120.