Husband upset by wife who wears her heart on her sleeve

DEAR ABBY: I’m a mostly happily married wife and mother. I love tattoos. When I was younger, I was engaged to my soul mate. His name is tattooed on my wrists in honor of the love we shared. Unfortunately, he was killed in a car accident.

Several years later, I met and married my husband, “Brett.” When we fight he brings up the tattoos. He says they’re “disrespectful” of him and I should get rid of them. It upsets me because I got the tattoos before I ever met Brett, so how can they be disrespectful? Am I being unreasonable, or should my husband back off? — ILLUSTRATED WOMAN IN COLORADO

DEAR ILLUSTRATED WOMAN: The tattoos are in no way disrespectful to your husband. They are the same body art you had when he married you, and if he didn’t complain back then, he shouldn’t now. When you’re fighting and Brett tells you to get rid of them, he’s doing it to hurt you because he knows they are meaningful and he’s trying to get under your skin. Insist on dealing with the subject at hand and don’t take the bait.


DEAR ABBY: My husband is a partner in a small law firm. One of the secretaries has gotten into the habit of texting him somewhat inappropriate pictures. One of them was of a “willy warmer” for a penis. I know she thinks it’s funny and harmless, but it bothered me. I think it was unprofessional and went beyond the boundaries of an employee relationship. If I mention it to my husband, he will know I looked at his phone messages, and I don’t want him to think I don’t trust him. Am I making too much of this? — THE MRS., SOMEWHERE IN THE USA

DEAR MRS.: I don’t think so. I agree that what the secretary did was unprofessional and inappropriate. As an attorney, your husband already knows that kind of communication could leave the company vulnerable in the future. You wouldn’t have felt the need to check his cellphone if your woman’s intuition wasn’t telling you that you needed to, so get to the bottom of it now, before it escalates.


DEAR VETERANS: I salute each and every one of you for your service to this country. My heartfelt thanks as well to the brave and dedicated men and women who are still on active duty. You are the personification of patriotism and self-sacrifice for your dedication to our country. Love, ABBY


Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.


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